lament

It's been a little bit... I know.
This past week my sister and dad went to Oklahoma to move my grandma out of her house and into assisted living. Her house is up for sale. The house my dad moved into in the second grade. The house I have so many fond memories in.
No longer will I be able to play whiffle ball or foot ball in her yard.
It won't be hers. It won't be ours.
It will belong to some stranger who will take advantage of all its Midwestern charm.
They will not know the times spent there.
This really upsets my heart.
It hard for me to let go of old t-shirts, let alone my grandmas house I have known my whole life.
I feel like a part of me is missing and I am in mourning.
It's hard to let go of things that have always been there. I am getting older and times are changing. Sure I like to think of myself as a go with the flow kind of person. I cannot apply that attitude to my heart, to things that are so deep.
Life is surreal in these moments. I wonder if this all really happening. It feels so strange.
I don't like it.
It makes my heart hurt.

I feel like so much has happened in the past year to me. My heart needs to heal.
I just need to let go and let it mend.

lovejess